Hamlagrap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, all-powerful toad.

Hamlagrap created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Hamlagrap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Hamlagrap, she will cry a lot.

Hamlagrap's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hamlagrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never feed lots of aubergines to shrews while wearing green tights.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Do not chop down trees.