Tomfetbot is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, almighty donkey.

Tomfetbot created vertebrates three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomfetbot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tomfetbot, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tomfetbot's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tomfetbot's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tomfetbot.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Tomfetbot on top of all buildings.

3. Always look after injured gulls.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.