Lakrap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid jellyfish.

Lakrap created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakrap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakrap, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Lakrap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Lakrap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Put Lakrap first in all things.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. You must pray to Lakrap eight times a day.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.