Hamsomham is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, effective beaver.

Hamsomham created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamsomham, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamsomham, he will think nothing of it.

Hamsomham's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hamsomham's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Hamsomham in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.