Dumlegtagcaddunbep Panbidhim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain naga.

Dumlegtagcaddunbep Panbidhim created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumlegtagcaddunbep Panbidhim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dumlegtagcaddunbep Panbidhim, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dumlegtagcaddunbep Panbidhim's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dumlegtagcaddunbep Panbidhim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dumlegtagcaddunbep Panbidhim.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Never feed garlic to whales while wearing purple scarves.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never talk about asteroids.