Cimpakdidbug is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying octopus.

Cimpakdidbug created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cimpakdidbug, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cimpakdidbug, he will be mildly annoyed.

Cimpakdidbug's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cimpakdidbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Never mention frogs.