Honflapstik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering shark.

Honflapstik created the Virgo Supercluster seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Honflapstik, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Honflapstik, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Honflapstik's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Honflapstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Do not jump in public.