Arplanfemgupbeg Gonyamgigzodyim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, stupid lizard.

Arplanfemgupbeg Gonyamgigzodyim created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Arplanfemgupbeg Gonyamgigzodyim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arplanfemgupbeg Gonyamgigzodyim, he will throw large rocks at you.

Arplanfemgupbeg Gonyamgigzodyim's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Arplanfemgupbeg Gonyamgigzodyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured goats.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Hide from orange pigs for they are unholy.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.