Bem is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-confident whale.

Bem created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bem, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bem, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bem's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bem's Holy Commandments

1. Bem must be the most important thing in your life.

2. You must love Bem.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.