Sinkarmig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, omnipotent clam.

Sinkarmig created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sinkarmig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sinkarmig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sinkarmig's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sinkarmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to snakes while wearing scarves.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Never feed peas to doves while wearing black rings.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.