Vedpanquimsin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, boastful aardvark.

Vedpanquimsin created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedpanquimsin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vedpanquimsin, she will refuse to believe in you.

Vedpanquimsin's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Vedpanquimsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about comets.