Xemvagfot Bussigpag is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring ant.

Xemvagfot Bussigpag created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemvagfot Bussigpag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xemvagfot Bussigpag, it will laugh at you.

Xemvagfot Bussigpag's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Xemvagfot Bussigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never wear fawn coats.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.