Arnnegwod is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthoughtful squid.

Arnnegwod created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnnegwod, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arnnegwod, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Arnnegwod's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Arnnegwod's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.