Rowwonzigdabbagdavdit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, irritating tortoise.

Rowwonzigdabbagdavdit created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowwonzigdabbagdavdit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rowwonzigdabbagdavdit, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rowwonzigdabbagdavdit's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Rowwonzigdabbagdavdit's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

2. Do not take Rowwonzigdabbagdavdit's name in vain.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never hurt goats.

5. Never mention dolphins.