Hamcimnat is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, grumpy salamander.

Hamcimnat created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Hamcimnat, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hamcimnat, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hamcimnat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Hamcimnat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Hamcimnat on top of all buildings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Do not take Hamcimnat's name in vain.