Narlflamnull is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful porpoise.

Narlflamnull created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlflamnull, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Narlflamnull, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Narlflamnull's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Narlflamnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to sharks while wearing magenta scarves.

2. Always obey Narlflamnull's priests.

3. Do not hurt horses.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.