Kopsakhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, stupid dragon.

Kopsakhiv created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopsakhiv, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kopsakhiv, it will not care at all.

Kopsakhiv's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kopsakhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven dolphins approach from the east.

2. Never think ill of sick foxes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.