Teencenpon is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciless eagle.

Teencenpon created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teencenpon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Teencenpon, he will be mildly annoyed.

Teencenpon's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Teencenpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never skip in the presence of geese.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Do not kill pigs.