Gadflapkim is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking weasel.

Gadflapkim created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadflapkim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadflapkim, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gadflapkim's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gadflapkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat turnips.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Never think about dark matter near birds while wearing violet ear rings and balancing eight titanium spheres on your face.

5. Always help geese.