Kanpidtail is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fast dryad.

Kanpidtail created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanpidtail, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kanpidtail, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kanpidtail's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Kanpidtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of squirrels.

2. Never feed bananas to ants while wearing violet rings.

3. Never think about dark energy near snakes while wearing white kilts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your face.

4. Erect six zinc sculptures of Kanpidtail on top of important buildings.

5. Do not eat apples.