Tiparnbut is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered wren.

Tiparnbut created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Tiparnbut, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tiparnbut, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tiparnbut's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tiparnbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Tiparnbut on top of important buildings.

5. Never hurt otters.