Rowtiflid is a god.
He takes the form of a chunky, ruthless
tapir.
Rowtiflid created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.
If you believe in
Rowtiflid, he will look favourably on your prayers.
If you do not believe in
Rowtiflid, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.
Rowtiflid's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.
Rowtiflid's Holy Commandments1. Never mention whales.
2. Feed all hungry bats.
3. Never talk about swans.
4. Do not stand on grass.
5. Never bounce near seals.