Zedbastort is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful ferret.

Zedbastort created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedbastort, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zedbastort, he will try to impress you with trees.

Zedbastort's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zedbastort's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never run in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.