Citfetbum Piggab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic jellyfish.

Citfetbum Piggab created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Citfetbum Piggab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Citfetbum Piggab, he will refuse to believe in you.

Citfetbum Piggab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Citfetbum Piggab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Citfetbum Piggab.