Motrilyim is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, narcissistic donkey.

Motrilyim created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Motrilyim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Motrilyim, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Motrilyim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Motrilyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. You must never eat figs.