Zenbopdav is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unfair parrot.

Zenbopdav created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenbopdav, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zenbopdav, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zenbopdav's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Zenbopdav's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured moths.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never think about spacetime near frogs while wearing gray shorts and balancing four carbon spheres on your face.

4. Do not kill badgers.

5. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.