Motjangen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish lizard.

Motjangen created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motjangen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Motjangen, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Motjangen's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Motjangen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dogs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Feed all hungry mice.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Worship no other gods but Motjangen.