Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving crow.

Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak, he will turn you into a duck.

Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak's name in vain.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Erect four lead sculptures of Gunkembatfab Figxuckcep Xuckrilgutnuttzak on top of important buildings.

5. Do not covet oxen.