Xemflowfag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy spider.

Xemflowfag created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemflowfag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xemflowfag, she will turn you into a goat.

Xemflowfag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Xemflowfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.