Sandruttont is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, slow octopus.

Sandruttont created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandruttont, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sandruttont, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sandruttont's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sandruttont's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sandruttont.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Never eat rice.