Dagjadarn is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, staggering tapir.

Dagjadarn created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagjadarn, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dagjadarn, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dagjadarn's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dagjadarn's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Put Dagjadarn first in all things.

4. You must love Dagjadarn.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near cats while wearing pink trousers.