Flowrowmegjiploppinsas is a god.

She takes the form of a large, compassionate otter.

Flowrowmegjiploppinsas created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowrowmegjiploppinsas, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flowrowmegjiploppinsas, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Flowrowmegjiploppinsas' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flowrowmegjiploppinsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never chant in holy places.