Tailvigcub is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witless gorilla.

Tailvigcub created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailvigcub, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tailvigcub, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tailvigcub's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tailvigcub's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red ants for they are unholy.

2. Never feed melons to mice while wearing gray rings.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.