Stannelgep is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, compassionate shrew.

Stannelgep created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stannelgep, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Stannelgep, he will turn you into a mole.

Stannelgep's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Stannelgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Stannelgep on top of all buildings.

3. Run away from brown sheep, for they are unholy.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Do not make images of living things.