Latvadtap Biffadfadtomhapsuglib is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, grumpy donkey.

Latvadtap Biffadfadtomhapsuglib created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latvadtap Biffadfadtomhapsuglib, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Latvadtap Biffadfadtomhapsuglib, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Latvadtap Biffadfadtomhapsuglib's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Latvadtap Biffadfadtomhapsuglib's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Never eat aubergines.