Mumquillfat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, caring spider.

Mumquillfat created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumquillfat, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumquillfat, it will turn you into a tree.

Mumquillfat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Mumquillfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Never feed wheat to whales while wearing white corsets.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Never eat nuts.