Baftikjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful snake.

Baftikjarn created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baftikjarn, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Baftikjarn, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Baftikjarn's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Baftikjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick squirrels.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Baftikjarn loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.