Fidpopfat Bidsintal is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, charitable pig.

Fidpopfat Bidsintal created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidpopfat Bidsintal, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fidpopfat Bidsintal, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fidpopfat Bidsintal's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fidpopfat Bidsintal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.