Kipvenjadkap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent hummingbird.

Kipvenjadkap created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kipvenjadkap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kipvenjadkap, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kipvenjadkap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kipvenjadkap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing blue stockings and balancing nine lead spheres on your legs.