Cabtonkbiss is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical crab.

Cabtonkbiss created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabtonkbiss, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cabtonkbiss, she will turn you into a rock.

Cabtonkbiss' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cabtonkbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cabtonkbiss' priests.

2. Do not speak about onions.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.