Quatartpidfar is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty capybara.

Quatartpidfar created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatartpidfar, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quatartpidfar, she will think nothing of it.

Quatartpidfar's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quatartpidfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Never paint your face red.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect three tin sculptures of Quatartpidfar on top of important buildings.