Nulljarnhog is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, able turtle.

Nulljarnhog created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Nulljarnhog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nulljarnhog, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nulljarnhog's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nulljarnhog's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Nulljarnhog loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Do not keep three sharks in a large pit.