Ditwitlarpboss is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, contented squirrel.

Ditwitlarpboss created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditwitlarpboss, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditwitlarpboss, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Ditwitlarpboss' most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Ditwitlarpboss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Hide from fawn aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the west.