Jopdidbabgab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, dishonest fish.

Jopdidbabgab created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopdidbabgab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jopdidbabgab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jopdidbabgab's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jopdidbabgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat pigs with great respect.

4. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Jopdidbabgab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never look in ponds.