Soggommat Fittonk is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, slow chicken.

Soggommat Fittonk created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Soggommat Fittonk, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Soggommat Fittonk, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Soggommat Fittonk's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Soggommat Fittonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Soggommat Fittonk.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.