Matsafjab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic shark.

Matsafjab created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matsafjab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Matsafjab, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Matsafjab's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Matsafjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.