Artvinqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, thoughtless naga.

Artvinqueeg created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Artvinqueeg, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Artvinqueeg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Artvinqueeg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Artvinqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.