Flowfagdod is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful alligator.

Flowfagdod created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowfagdod, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flowfagdod, she will turn you into a duck.

Flowfagdod's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Flowfagdod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Flowfagdod loves voles, so they must be respected.