Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic hamster.

Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag.

2. Run away from blue birds, for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Loopfatjop Zenvabjin Gabvigpinfligflanxucjinspag.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.