Teentimbess Yognabven is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, tiresome bee.

Teentimbess Yognabven created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Teentimbess Yognabven, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Teentimbess Yognabven, she will be very unhappy.

Teentimbess Yognabven's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Teentimbess Yognabven's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.